- Essay Writing Techniques
This article originally appeared in the Tusker Times
The end of Comparison Essays the year is approaching fast. Finals and Regents examinations are coming up. Chances Comparison Essays are, you will have to write an essay. I’m here to offer you Comparison Essays some pointers. Let’s start with the introduction.
You need to really grab a reader’s Comparison Essays attention with the first line. Now, for some reason the school has unwritten Comparison Essays “rules” about using vulgarities. I’ve found that that’s not the kind of attention Comparison Essays you want to attract. So instead of boring words to really command interest, Comparison Essays try drawing a picture of Godzilla fighting a robot. You’ll have fun, it’ll Comparison Essays intrigue the reader, and your teacher will appreciate the finely drawn laser-eyes that Comparison Essays your robot has.
Word choice is always very very very good. Use words like Comparison Essays “therefore” and “thusly” a lot. Or make up your own. Here’s a good Comparison Essays sentence: “Therefore, it thusly was heretowithforebeknownst and, however, was not.” Your teacher will Comparison Essays admire your boldness in completely abandoning the creative straightjacket of so-called “conventional grammar”.
If Comparison Essays your essay is on a book, use positive words to describe it. I’ve Comparison Essays found that words like “garbage” and “waste of wood-pulp” offend some literature lovers. Comparison Essays Instead of “Reading it felt like my brain was swelling”, try “This book Comparison Essays taught me to love again.” Also, it’s not a good idea to draw Comparison Essays Godzilla devouring the author of your book. If you have a Global essay Comparison Essays and know very little, make stuff up. “While the Russian revolution was very Comparison Essays influential, we know that it had little to do with cabbage.”
Some final Comparison Essays tips:
1. If your essay is still boring, try signing your name as “Captain Comparison Essays Amazing”.
2. Be sentimental. No teacher will fail an essay that compares the Comparison Essays subject to the time your kitten, Snowflake, was mauled by a bear.
3. Give Comparison Essays yourself an edge over fellow students. Write your essay in all capital letters. Comparison Essays And don’t be stingy with the exclamation points, either.
I hope this helps. It’ll Comparison Essays help me, at least. If everyone follows my advice, maybe the teacher will Comparison Essays grade them on a curve, and my C- will be an A . Comparison Essays Because, personally, I want all of you to fail so I can look Comparison Essays good by comparison. Oh, and in your essay, always end your composition mid-sentence, Comparison Essays because that’s
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